with Lynne and Leslie

We didn’t get a Christmas tree. Are we bad people?

by SweetMidlife

A drunk Christmas dog and a disco ball are not traditional. But then again, neither are we.


Leslie here!

We had such good intentions.

My husband and I are in a new home, with lots of places for Yuletide decorating, including a tree. We have only been married four years, and I think we’ve had a tree once – The first year we went to visit my folks in Arkansas. Last year my mom was down and we stayed in hotels. I can’t tell you what happened in 2011, other than that we didn’t get one. I can’t remember why? Bad people maybe?

Anyway, here we are in the new place, and I found our decorations, including our stockings, some lights, the Christmas tree star and all of the holiday stuffed animals Scott has bought over the years, including Drunk Christmas Dog, who sings “Silver Bells” and appears to be trashed, and Slightly Objectionable Christmas Dog, who sings “Donde Esta Santa Claus?” Our cat hates that guy. She has tried to kill him several times, and seems pissed that somehow he survives. Drunk Christmas Dog, however, she just kind of observes and then walks away from as if she is just DONE with him.

We priced trees. I asked people on Facebook. We even drove by lots and would both say “Hey! We need to get a tree on the way home!”

Alas, the best-laid plans of mice, men and humans who collect objectionable Christmas animals oft go astray. Or just blow up all together. Because we still don’t have a tree, and as we are headed out of town for the holiday, we’re not gonna get one. And I don’t know what happened! We just never got around to it, which makes me question my Christmas cheer. Sure the lights are awesome, as are the stockings. But if I can’t get around to buying a tree, what’s wrong with me?

Then again, tree procrastination is not new to me – My folks usually got ours on Christmas Eve, because they were cheap (I think we got one free one year that the guy at Memorial Stadium just closed up early and left a bunch in the parking lot) and because we were a family full of overachieving 80s and 90s stress monsters who were focused on the go-go-go and then went “Umm…we got all these lights.”

I think the lights actually usually went up a few days before the tree – My dad could have been the dude in that “12 Things At Christmas That Are Such A Pain To Me” parody who is freaking out at the lights – “One goes out, they all go out!” We used to laugh at him, because he would come home from being all management and professional and be freaking out at the lights. And woe to the daughter who didn’t check the string before we got them up on the tree our outside and half of them were burned out. Not cheer. NOT CHEER.

I am cracking up as I write this, because we could have been the cast of “A Very Busy Buppie Christmas,” in that we were majorly excited about the holiday but too busy to focus on it until the last minute. But when we did we were all in. It wasn’t the way other people would have done it, but it was the way we did, and it was us. It was hectic and last minute and kind of a sitcom, but we loved every minute of it, even when the tree was ugly or the stocking kept falling. We had the best time together and now that Daddy’s not here, I cherish those imperfect stressful Christmases all the more.

So the Streeter-Zervitzes don’t have a tree this year. We will get one next year. But we do have lights, and stockings, and love. And singing dogs under a disco ball. I think we’re gonna put the gifts under that.

I guess that’s how we do it.


4 Responses to “We didn’t get a Christmas tree. Are we bad people?”

  1. anallievent@gmail.com' Alli says:

    You are not bad people since you are going to be out of town for Christmas. Otherwise . . . I would have to send you one of my four. 🙂 I have a hard time stopping. Very funny post! Merry Christmas!!

  2. tate_franz@comcast.net' Thaeda says:

    We don’t have a tree, either– just ran out of time. Not a big deal. 🙂

  3. we didn’t get a tree either! my husband was traveling for half the month and i figured, “ahhh, let’s just save money and not get a tree. we’ll do it next year when the baby’s here.”

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