with Lynne and Leslie


by SweetMidlife


So this is going to ramble. And this is Lynne, by the way.

Roller coaster going down.

So last night I went to bed sad. Let me back up. I sat down to do some work stuff last night already with a heavy heart. A family friend buried three family members yesterday after a car accident. Other people I know have recently lost jobs, other loved ones, marriages, and hope. Then there was the news from Oklahoma yesterday, with all that loss of life.  Over 1000 people died in the factory collapse in Bangladesh last month. Just lots of sad. And I don’t know how to speak to it. I want to comfort people that I know, but I don’t always have the words.  And the words that I have don’t always feel good enough. I am a Christian, and I can attest to the fact that God can carry you through awful stuff.  And this might sound horrible, but I know that not everyone wants to hear that all of the time.  It doesn’t make it any less true at all, but I know that you can show God’s love for people through what YOU do, and I try to do that, but you just leave feeling a bit helpless and overwhelmed. And insufficient.

Coaster going back up

I watched “The Voice”, and someone sang “How Great Thou Art” on national prime time TV, and it put me in awe of the greatness of a God who can handle the big and little things.  And other people sang pretty things. And I watched a show about terminal cancer, “The Big C: Hereafter”, and it was beautifully, beautifully done, ,and it reminded me of my Dad, but it made me want to write about him, and I felt a peace.

Coaster going back down

So when I woke up, I turned on the news again, and I saw more about the devastation in Oklahoma, and all of the kids killed at the elementary school, and I went in to pick up my own happy baby out of his crib, and I felt thankful but also guilty that I get to hold my boy when other people are experiencing all of this pain.

But then up again

We went into my room to watch last night’s “Dancing With the Stars” performance finale, and Kellie Pickler (country singer and former American Idol contestant) danced this gorgeous freestyle to dance to a song that I had never heard before, but the song itself reminded me of “Fix You” by Coldplay, and I had that song in my head for the rest of the morning. So thank you, Kellie Pickler, somehow.


Because “Fix You” is a song that I used to not get, I am embarrassed to say. I, for some reason, used to think that it was tongue-in-cheek, some cynical song about trying to fix what was wrong with somebody for your own benefit. I have no idea where I got that from. And I was so wrong. It is simply a beautiful song about seeing the pain that someone that you love is in, and just trying to make it better. To fix it.

And that brought me to this. People around us hurt. And sometimes we have something heartfelt to say, that’s just the right thing. But when my dad died, a friend told me that she wanted so much to say something to comfort me, but that she didn’t know what to say. And I told her that it was enough that she WANTED to say something, and THAT brought me comfort. So I guess the point isn’t in the fixing, or the saying the right words. It’s in the trying. The effort. You want people to know that God loves them? If you love Him, then you love them, then somehow, they get it, somewhere. Just try. Just be there, however you can. They’ll get it.




4 Responses to “Try.”

  1. tate_franz@comcast.net' Thaeda says:

    Beautifully said. <3 this blog. And you. And your sweet baby. Huggzzz.

  2. sam@madebysam.com' Sam says:

    My granddad and I had a conversation about this shortly before he passed away, and he had what on the surface seemed callous and selfish advice, but upon discussion and thought turned out to be brilliant.
    “It’s not about you”
    That is to say, approaching anyone’s pain or loss other than your own, remember that you are only looking at from your point of view. Feeling helpless and needing to DO something isn’t about what they need, it’s about what YOU need. It isn’t bad, or wrong, but it’s not necessarily helping THEM.
    (I had to be bodily restrained at my first wife’s funeral after about the twentieth person rushed up to reassure me that “she’s in a better place”. It made THEM feel better, but it felt to ME like everyone was trying to stab me in the eye.)
    So granddad said the thing to do is just to be there, and make sure they know you’re there, and just do whatever needs to be done. Man, I miss that guy.

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