with Lynne and Leslie

The truth about getting what you want: A guest post

by SweetMidlife

This lovely lady has some wisdom for you.

Leslie here! A few weeks ago we asked for guest bloggers, and one of the best “Heck, yeahs!” was from my dear friend Chrissy Benoit. Chrissy is a chef, restaurant owner, avid community member and awesome person, who I have known for about a decade. A California native who was trained by Wolfgang Puck, she’s been featured on “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” various other TV shows, newspapers, magazines and blogs. She is also one of the most generous people I have ever met.

Chrissy asked me what she should write about, and I told her to go for it, to write whatever she was feeling our over-35 folks needed to here. And what she feeling was the concept of having it all,  of working for years to get what you want, of savoring that moment…and then getting it and realizing that it’s not all awesomesauce, easy street and the last scene of “Working Girl” where everything’s coming up roses – even with two successful restaurants under her belt and a lot of clout here in South Florida (She currently owns The Little House in Boynton Beach  http://www.thelittlehousebb.com/). But it’s all a lesson. Here is Chrissy’s.


14 things I learned when I got what I “wanted”

1) It’s not at all what I thought it would be, with regards to how it would make me feel.  Now when deciding the path for the business, I have to confidentially stand behind every decision and really study what the positive and negative effects might be before doing anything. No more impulsive, knee jerk responses or spontaneous “great ideas.”  And sometimes even when you’re right you’re wrong, and when you make a good decision you sometimes still suffer.  You have to reach deep for confidence in your decisions because the compass is hard to read.

2) I didn’t realize how mad my taxation makes me!  It’s really brings out the conservative in you, it’s frustrating how our government does not do the math for small businesses and we are expected to carry this huge load! Most people have NO idea and would be shocked.  We can’t give up, because if we do, we flush everything we have invested, all of our sleepless nights, and earned grey hairs down the proverbial toilet.  You lose so much more than your job.

3) I learned I really hate the phrase “you know what you should do?”

4) I learned how much of our social circle happens and begins in the work place, and when you are a small business owner, you no longer have that social circle at work, nor do you have time to cultivate it because you are working so much. It becomes very lonely and isolating.

5) I have learned I had no idea what stress is…and probably still don’t compared to some. I’ve also learned you cannot convince anyone of that who has not been through it. They cannot see or experience that which they have not seen or experienced, and you have to try and be understanding about that.

6) I’ve learned that closing for a day is about the most important thing you can do for yourself, because you are never “off.” You can never put work aside and not think about it for a day while it is growing, and you need a day that nothing can go wrong because the doors are locked.

7) I’ve learned people are never what they seem, both good and bad. Everyone thinks they are authentic, drama free and a great employee.

8) I’ve learned how few people know how to interview, present themselves, and fill out a resume.

9) I’ve learned how to just thank people for their generosity and help when I can’t pay them. Not everyone who offers to help is expecting to get paid.

10) I’ve learned sometimes your friends simply become employees, but rarely the other way around.

11) I’ve learned what burn out is, and it is a scary, scary thing. You have never felt so lost.

12) I’m more broke than ever, and working harder than ever.

13) I’ve learned that when you’re the owner you are expected to take insults and criticisms of all types. You are expected to be completely understanding of other’s needs, but the moment you might say something that is perceived as uncompassionate you’re an ungrateful a**hole who owes someone an apology. Your words carry a lot more weight then you were intending most times.  Simple communication, direct communication is a thing of the past.

14) South Florida is a difficult place to hire people to work, but not difficult to pay them for nothing.


One Response to “The truth about getting what you want: A guest post”

  1. kwp@iocreativegroup.com' Kim says:

    Chrissy, thank you so so much for the truths spoken here. I could have written most of what you have on the list…being a ‘Terp is the best and hardest thing you can ever do for work. I salute you in your journey and am cheering you on!

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