with Lynne and Leslie
Tag Archives: Zen

Non-Zen thoughts that went through my head during this morning’s yoga class

by SweetMidlife

Yoga can make you as chill as this sleeping child on a plane. Of course, he was acting afool ten minutes before he passed out from foolishness-related exhaustion. But you feel me.

This is Leslie, and I am a bad yogi, I am more Yogi Bear, Including the picnic baskets.  

Still, I have been doing more and more breathing and moving on mats in tranquil rooms with twisty, Zen people all around me like a multi-generational Pinterest board. And my body, including my problem knees and gnarly runner’s feet, seem to like it. My mind does too – I admit to checking my text messages from my mat, my iPhone hidden under my yoga blanket, when I first started back, because I was a bad person. But that was Two Months Back Leslie. Current Yoga Leslie is better than that. Most of the time. Allegedly.

This morning, during a very chill but challenging Gentle Yoga class, I tried to follow the instructor’s suggestion to being present in the class and to clear my mind of the thoughts I brought into the studio. My mind is old and watches a lot of “Law and Order” when it’s not working full time, paying bills and talking a 3-year-old down from a sleep-deprivation tsunami of nonsense, so it welcomes the clearing. The problem is, I was so chill that it was hard to block the weirdness that flowed in to fill the spaces vacated by “Bob The Builder:” I swear these are actual thoughts I had while doing a seated Warrior 1. I’m sorry.

  • “I wonder what this is under my foot…is that a peppercorn? How did I roll a peppercorn into my yoga mat? Have I been eating risotto over my yoga mat in my sleep?”
  • “Where do they buy their sconces?”
  • “I wonder if anyone here is vegan. I could eat the heck out of some curry right now.”
  • “I must ask what this essential oil she gave us is. Lavender? Maybe. Smells like cookies. Are there lavender cookies? Or does every smell remind me of cookies?”
  • “Seriously. Where can I get some curry? Who should I ask?”
  • “I really should have lotioned my feet more. I got Ashy Yoga Foot.”
  • “These yoga pants are really big. Have I lost weight or can I not properly buy yoga pants?”
  • “Why can’t I get “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” out of my head? That is not remotely what that yoga ambient noise song sounds like.”
  • “She said we didn’t have to use a pillow but I’m not too proud to use a pillow because I ain’t trying to hurt my back trying to look fly in a Gentle yoga class.”
  • “Crap. Did I fall asleep?”
  • “I’ma look for some curry on my walk home.”

Running up that hill: starting all over again

by SweetMidlife
That is 2005 Marathon Lynne on the left, her fierce twin on the right.    That is our friend Funnel T. Cake on the plate.

Us in 2005, fiercely fierce with the fierceness.

Leslie here!

My fabulous sister wrote a really great post a few weeks back  http://sweetmidlife.com/?p=2714 about how the 2014 version of herself was just as fierce, in a different way, than the sleek marathon-running 2005 version, and about how she was embracing the earlier Lynne’s ability to crush it by figuring out how New Lynne can do that and still live her current life.

I read that intently as we are twins and were at similar levels of crush at 34, and have similar interest in re-crushing it at 43. We also both really love running, not just for its weight loss possibilities, but because it’s transformative mentally and spiritually. I love yoga, but I have meditated more deeply, more truly while sweating and pounding on a path by the water with the sun coming up than I ever have in a darkened room with quiet intonations and cymbal-y music. Maybe I’m just weird or a glutton for punishment.

Or maybe it’s the rhythm of your heart, that’s beating like a drum (thanks, Rod Stewart!) to the time of your feet, to your breath, to the water and the sky. And even though you’re in pain, and your muscles are screaming at you, and you’re noticing that you’re running past the home of a friend who would surely drive you home….you keep running. You NEED to run. Or shuffle. Or crawl. You gotta get there. The rhythm demands it.

Anyway, I want back in. I started running again, just 20 minutes at a time, a few weeks ago, and I find that I crave it. I plan to run a 5K – my first race in nearly three years – in December, and I’m thrilled and terrified all together (thrillified? terried?) This is my running morning, and as I write this and drink the green juice of repentance for what I ate this weekend, I find myself imagining the things I’m gonna see as I run – the mothers pushing strollers, the pretty houses with “For Sale” signs, the little details I never notice when I’m driving. And I’m hungry for it…certainly hungrier than I am for his green juice. But it’s all a part of the run.

And I’m ready. Who’s coming with me?


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