with Lynne and Leslie
Tag Archives: cell-phones

Wear Cute Shoes, But You Also Need Pants or Checking Your Priorities

by SweetMidlife

Hi!

Lynne here. This won’t be a long one.

Not always a good look.

Not always a good look.

So, I’ve written a lot about how I am working on being more organized in all ways in my life, and this touches how I spend my time, the fact that I can actually put things flat on my nightstand without causing a landslide of bills and Christmas cards from 2013, the state of my dishwasher, and the state of my car, whose backseat may have french fry residue from taking 2 preschoolers to McDonald’s. It totally does. This is a work in progress.

But what I have found out the most is that organizing my physical world isn’t just about the tangible appearance of things, but that it’s about the inward emotions that cause you to keep your world cluttered or your schedule over-packed, and that may tell you that you can’t do any better than you are doing right now. All of that is a lie, but it feels like that sometimes. And all of this inner-looking causes you to be more mindful of the things that you tell yourself, and how they manifest (I used a big word before 7:30 am and I feel like I need some reward for this. Thank you.) themselves in your priorities and whatnot. Because sometimes you think that something is important to you, but when you look at how you actually spend your time, you might see that this isn’t actually  as true as you think it is. And you might think that something ISN’T a big deal to you, but when you actually look at your life, you realize that you spend more time doing that particular thing than you might have thought, and definitely more than you want to admit.

I thought of this yesterday, when my son and I were getting ready for the day. We headed into the bathroom it brush teeth and wash faces, and I had my phone in my hand, because before this, I had been looking at something on my beloved Facebook. The words “beloved Facebook” totally just came in my head, and I almost didn’t write that down, but it is true, I spend a lot of time there, to the point that if I am reading it and then have to do something else, I either keep my phone in my hand or my eyes on my laptop, or I rush through the other things real quick so I can get back to the blue and white land of comments. And as wonderful as Facebook can be in reaching out to people and staying connected to family, and as much as I use my phone to have really wonderful conversations with the people in my life,  it can also be a time suck if it distracts you from living the life in front of you. Or the toothbrush in front of you, which is what happened yesterday when I found myself trying to get the toothpaste out of the cabinet and pick up my brush without having to put my phone down, and when I did, looking nervously to make sure that my phone was still there. I am sad to admit that. But it happened.

My phone should be an addendum to my actual life, which includes things like eating and writing and personal hygiene, and not the thing that I come back to after I get those pesky things done. For me it’s my phone. For you, it could be the TV, or talking, or daydreaming, or anything. And all of these things are good things. But if they aren’t the main thing that you know you are supposed to be doing in your life, then, well, do some reordering.

Don’t let the accessories in your life become your life. Because you can’t go out in just heels, a purse, awesome shoes, cute earrings, and a headband, no matter how bumpin’ those things are. You are gonna need some pants and a shirt too, y’all.

 


Why I Won’t Be Calling You From the Car

by SweetMidlife

HI! It’s Lynne.

A few years ago, the state of Maryland, where I live, made it illegal to drive while holding your mobile phone. This made a big impression on some, while on any given day, you can look at the car next to you and see people happily gabbing away with their phones up to their ears.

I have been one of those people at times.

I started off with such conviction. I powered up my Bluetooth speaker, and I put my phone where I couldn’t reach it. I promised my husband that I would obey the law, because safety and tickets and really the threat of death. It started so well.

Then.

Someone would ring me right when I was on the way out of the door, and I would say, “I’ll call you in the car.” Then I would realize that my Bluetooth wasn’t charged up. So I would have the phone on speaker mode, and put it on the passenger seat, or in my lap, or in my shirt (one of the plusses of having ample cleavage is that you can hold things in there. Yes I said it). So I would have my phone sliding down my boobage, and no one could hear me, and sometimes both the person I was speaking to AND me were on speaker, which means that it’s extra hard to hear, and your focusing on the conversation and straining and you are getting frustrated and then WAIT I missed my turn and yes.

I messed up the driving. Which should be the point.

I know that cup holders and drive-through restaurants and speakers and DVD players and in-car Wifi have made it so convenient to do work and catch-up with people and entertain yourself while you are on the road., which usually makes you a well-fed, conversational, comfortable bad driver. Because you are often distracted.

From driving.

On the show “Mythbusters”, they did a thing where the one guy was on a closed course simulating driving while he talked on the phone, first with a handheld phone, and then with speaker capabilities. And on both, he failed the test because his focus was split. This was really convicting, and my husband and I promised each other right then that we would not talk on the phone in the car, and if it was an emergency, we would pull over and take the call then.

And I have broken that promise, because I really needed to finish a conversation, or because I had to ask someone a question on the way to where I was going. It doesn’t matter why. I broke a promise that I agree with. Distraction is distraction.

And since I will be putting away my phone when I get int the car, I will also not be checking Facebook at lights, or looking down to see who just texted me. Not only is it dangerous, it is also illegal: they had undercover officers in MD last week posing as homeless people at stoplights, busting people for texting, even when they were at a light, because they were still in a travel lane.

This stuff is serious. And not easy. I am so used to checking my phone at lights that every time I stop now, I still make the motion of looking towards my phone as if I am about to check it. I feel like I NEED to know who liked the hilarious thing I posted before I got in the car. But unless people “unlike” it before I get to where I am going, I can bask in the public acknowledgement of my posting brilliance later. Because at the end of the day, the safety of me and those in and around my car is more important than my amusement, my ego, my need for immediate connection, and my entertainment.

So, I am pledging, again, to either have my phone in my purse when I drive, or if I am charging it up, to keep it as far away from me as possible. And I also promise to pull over if I need to call someone on the way or to visually check something on my phone. And I am not being haughty or smug about this. I am not. I have gotten physically anxious when someone calls and I am driving and I can’t reach my phone, since I am so used to doing that. But if I wait, I can focus on the road now,and on the call when I am actually somewhere that I can talk. And people like when you actually focus on what they are saying

So, if you call me and I am on the way out of the door, I hope you understand if I need to talk to you when I come home. And if you text me or message me on Facebook, you understand if I don’t get right back to you, even though that green light on Messenger tells you that I am on. I am not ignoring you. I’m probably just driving. I look forward to giving you my whole, full Lynne-ness when I get to where I am going.

Smooches.

Where my phone will be when I am finished taking this picture.

Where my phone will be when I am finished taking this picture.


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