with Lynne and Leslie
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Happy Isn’t Always the Point, and Disappointment Happens, But That’s Okay!!

by SweetMidlife

HI! It’s Lynne. We haven’t written in a bunch, so hi!

So we have had an exciting few days here at my house. We have been fighting all kinds of sinus grossness, then last week I was diagnosed with bronchitis. In the middle of the ick, though, has been some fun, like the birthday party that our son went to on Saturday, where he did gymnastics stuff, then came home and went with the birthday friends to our local playground, where he jumped and ran, and then back home, where he tripped on a stick in the front yard and fractured his leg. So, our weekend looked different than we planned, with ER and ortho visits, but there was also lots of eating in the living room, which we don’t usually do, and lounging and carryout and eating fun things like Lunchables from the hospital vending machine. Life is like that, especially when you are trying to adult. You make adjustments, and even though you go through lengths to try to make your kids not so disappointed that things are different, you hope that they know in the end that you are doing what you can without passing out.

And sometimes they don’t.

My son’s cast that my husband performed Spider-Man and Sharpie magic on

This morning, the little boy and I were supposed to hang out with friends of ours, another mommy and little boy pair, and it was going to be awesome. Except I woke up this morning feeling sinus-y again, and I already have a work commitment tonight, and our house looks too crazy to have them over here, and a restaurant play place would not work with the cast, so I decided to reschedule. Which made the little boy who lives here unhappy. And my friend (the other mom) and I were on the phone trying to work out all kinds of ways to still see them elsewhere, but that was getting complicated, and we just decided to wait to get together for a few days. And I knew that this wasn’t going to make my son happy, and that made me pause for a second, but I quickly realized, with my dad’s voice echoing in my head (I miss you Daddy!!), that this was okay.

Because my son has not just the necessities like a home and clothing and food and love, but he has perks like the internet and ice cream and several couches and lots of toy trucks. We aren’t trying to toughen him up by making him eat hardened bread crusts and walk 2 miles to preschool. But making other people happy isn’t always the best thing for them if….

…It makes YOU unhappy or sick. We make sacrifices for the peeps we love, but me not getting better helps nobody.
…It teaches them that it is okay if other people are unhappy or sick as long as they have what they want
…It teaches them that momentary happy, which I personally find awesome, is always more important than anything else ever
…They think that they are owed everything that they want like donuts every time you pick them up from school, which is awesome because donuts, but you do eat them a lot and then that time you really just need to go home because it’s late and also there is a limit to donuts, they say that they never get to do ANYTHING, and because they aren’t going now they will NEVER HAVE DONUTS AGAIN EVER and you NEVER do nice things for them.

So. We aren’t going to see our friends today and that is fine. We will see them in a few days. And we might go around the corner and get a treat later that’s closer because I am still into fun and happiness. Because it’s cool. But so are other things. Treats among the other things are good.

We’ll be okay.

 


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