with Lynne and Leslie

Happy, Qualified

by SweetMidlife

Howdy! Lynne here!

Yesterday, my son wasn’t happy with me. I had put him in his room for quiet time, which I hoped would morph into nap-time, because he needed it. He had a few toys in there, but when I picked up the stool that he climbs on to look out of his window, he kinda freaked out.

“I NEED it!”, he shrieked,

“I’m sorry. I’m taking it.”

“But I NEEEEEED it (shriek, cry, confusion, hubbub)”, he whined.

“No, honey, you don’t. Have a good quiet time.”, said me, as I closed the door.

And as I went to put the stool away in my office (or the place that my husband calls “The junk room”. Working on that), I had a very brief moment where I thought about leaving him the stool. He would be able to see outside, and he loves talking to the birdies, and watching cars go up and down the street, and telling the bugs to get off of the window. He would be so happy. But he would also be working himself up so much that he wouldn’t be able to relax, and then the chances of him actually napping would be very, very slim. So I went back in my room, with him protesting from across the hall.

Yep, not happy with me at all.

I am 3 years into this parenting thing, and sometimes the strangest thing happens, and I have talked to friends with small kids and they have gone through the same thing. It’s when your kid is mad because you are making him put on pants, and you think, “Well, he’s upset, and he’s cute, so who’s going to say anything if he goes to the playground in a shirt and a Pull-Up?” Then I remember that I am the parent, and I get to say if he wears pants or not, and I make him get dressed, and if he’s mad, he’ll get over it, and be sliding down the sliding board in no time, pants and all.

Because I do everything I can to make sure that my son has a happy life, full of love and support, and entertainment and toys, and treats and faith, and friends and family and music and donuts. But that doesn’t mean that he is going to be happy WITH everything that happens.

Sometimes he can’t have a lollipop for breakfast.

He still has to go to the potty when he gets up, whether he wants to or not.

If he won’t stop banging his tool box on the table after I told him to stop, then I am taking it. And I just paused to do this because this JUST HAPPENED.

And I won’t get the balance right all of the time, and sometimes I am probably too lenient, and other times I need to learn pick my battles.  I am working on it. I am still learning. But this way he won’t be a jerk. And he will learn good things. And we will all be happier in the end.

 

Our current state: happy AND happy with his after breakfast lollipop and plenty of Nick, Jr.

Our current state: happy AND happy with his after breakfast lollipop and plenty of Nick, Jr.


6 Responses to “Happy, Qualified”

  1. mrs.aok05@gmail.com' Mrs. AOK says:

    It’s easy to question ourselves as mothers. because I think that’s somehow programmed in us the moment we become mothers. We’re always wondering if we are doing right by our children, or what our child may read into our decisions. We’re trying to grow happy well-adjusted human beings, and we’re doing it with love. Choosing your battles= smart.
    XOXO

  2. ourdayz@verizon.net' Wendy says:

    Oh yes, they are cute enough to make us want to change our minds sometimes, aren’t they? 😉 As moms, we want them to be happy all the time, and happy with US all the time. Even after almost 19 years into this parenting thing, I still have to remind myself that she WILL get over being mad at me in about 5 minutes. Enjoy every moment of your happy, qualified journey! I found your blog at #TrafficJamWeekend, and love the idea of two sisters doing this together!

    • SweetMidlife says:

      WENDY!! Thank you so much. Thanks for your assurance that we won’t ruin them, and that they still get over it :). I am enjoying him. Thanks for the reminder. Can’t wait to read your blog!

  3. i can already tell that my 14 month old has a bad temper, which isn’t surprising since his parents both have bad tempers! and so when he has a temper tantrum, it’s so easy to just give in, especially since he’s still so young, but sometimes i just like, “ya know kiddo, you can’t always get what you want!” so good to read this post!

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