with Lynne and Leslie
Category Archives: Over 35 Couple of the Day

Yes, I was an old bride! And thanks for the ice cream!

by SweetMidlife

Taken three years ago. And no, this is not from a Lifetime movie.

The hubby and I just got back from a quick but satisfying third anniversary getaway in Vero Beach, Florida, less than two hours away from home but a whole world removed from the “Lookit my money” feel of Palm Beach or the “Lookit my boobs” feel of Miami. The evening was notable in many ways, and not just how the very nice people at the resort, from the staff to the other guests, tried to not looked shocked when two middle-aged people explained they were celebrating their third, not 20th, anniversary. It was kinda sweet, but we get it. We’re old. We’re fine with it. Thanks for the complimentary anniversary spiked ice cream sandwich and cocktails anyway!

Honestly, everyone was incredibly sweet and seemed happy for us, even though they didn’t know us. The cool thing about where we are in society is that there is less of a stigma to being married later in life – especially first marriages – and you know both of the writers of this here blog wed at 38, nearly 39, for the first time. So it’s surprising to me when people are obviously shocked when they see us, quickly surmise the 4- in our ages, and then do the math in their heads when we reveal that we’re newlyweds.

“First wedding?” many people say, as if being second-timers has to explain it.

Umm, no. I was Spinsterella till I met this here bald man, who was also a bachelor before me. I didn’t just escape a convent, he hadn’t taken a vow of celibacy and neither of us were horribly damaged socially awkward misfits who’d never been kissed. It just hadn’t happened. And then it did. And we were happy. And although neither of us were as young, thin and fresh as we may have imagined being on our jaunt down the aisle, we wouldn’t have changed the way things turned out for anything in the world, except that meeting earlier would have given us more time together.

In short, we’re not young. But our love is. It’s a lumpy, bald love, but the kind that giggles easily, that doesn’t get freaked out when someone farts in bed, that shrugs off the small stuff and says “It took my whole life to find you. You’re never getting rid of me. Let me lick my finger to wipe that ketchup off your face and then let’s enjoy this free anniversary dessert. We’ve earned it.”


Old weird love: Celebrating the romance of aches and pains

by SweetMidlife

Grown and sexy. With Spanx!

Leslie here! One of my favorite things about “30 Rock” is Tina Fey’s ability to sneak a surprisingly poignant moment into the most goofily surreal scene. There’s an episode where nutty egomaniac TV star Tracy Jordan has supposedly taken off to Africa (we find out later he’s hiding out in New York), propelling his wife Angie to seize the spotlight with her wacko Bravo reality show “Queen of Jordan” (“HAAAM!)

Angie protests that Tracy’s absence is a good thing because it allows her to come out of his shadow. But in the middle of the wackiness, she admits something to de facto confidante/boss/bewildered observer Liz Lemon – the things about Tracy that drive her insane, like him showing up drunk at their wedding or basically being a crazy person are the same things that draws her to him.

“I miss my weird love,” she wails, and I remember clapping in recognition at that line, because I, too have a weird love. And an old love, relatively speaking – not older than me, because we’re both old. A love that I found at the relatively advanced age of 38, past the age where I was my youngest or cutest or skinniest, at the age where 10 p.m. is the time we’re coming home exhausted rather than headed out. Sometimes, he’ll lovingly point out when I have an old-lady whisker (Don’t worry, 20-somethings. It’s coming for you one day) and I’ll kiss him on his bald head.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have the luxury of knowing what my husband looked like at 15, when he was all dark hair and swagger and high school hallway card games in his Camaro. And he sure was cute. But he was just some guy in my class. He wasn’t mine. What he looked like from 23-37 I know from photos, and he was cute, but he wasn’t mine. The 41-year-old with the bald head who falls asleep early and is a proud baseball and wrestling uncle to his nephew, who’s as confident in the Spongebob aisle at Toys-R-Us as he is in a silk shirt at a casino? He’s mine. I would cut a skank over him. And I am madly, passionately, girlfriendly in love with him. I sometimes wish we’d gotten together sooner, but only because that would have given us even more time together.

The woman that he fell in love with was 20 pounds past her marathon weight, not as fly as she used to be and given to crankiness, as well as to karaoke binges, true crime shows and stuff about wedding dresses. And he fell in love with her anyway. I’ll look wistfully at my skinny photos and say “Don’t you wish you’d met her?” And he’ll look at me and say “Why? I love you!” And then Billy Joel comes into my head and we love each other just the way we are, crankiness and cellulite and baldness and weird whiskers. And then someone falls asleep on the couch.

I don’t love him in spite of that stuff, or vice versa. We fell in love with the old, weird versions of each other. And that makes me smile. And then wanna take a nap, because I’m old.


Happily Married? We Wanna Hear About It.

by SweetMidlife

Lynne here.

So yesterday I wrote about this special on ABC News’ “20/20” that featured celebrities who have had successful marriages.  We thought it was refreshing because most of the marriage stories you hear out of Hollywood are break-ups.  And it made me think that as lovely as it was to hear the stories of people in La-La Land, how even more wonderful it would be to hear YOUR stories.  So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we wanna hear about your love stories. Been married 6 months? A year? 5? 20? 50? We would love to hear about you and your sweetie, and what makes you stick together.  And if you would let us, we would love to feature your story on our website! Here’s what you can do.  Write a comment here are on our Facebook page, or email us (and send pics!!) to bride35@gmail.com.   Okay? Your stories make people smile, and they give hope to EVERYBODY, single or married, because they give us a picture of what COULD be. And you wanna make people smile, right? Hee. Come on. Tell you story.


Bride at 35 TV Couple of the Day

by SweetMidlife

It’s Lynne!!

So, we watch a lot of TV around these parts, and one of our (me and Leslie) favorite shows is TNT’s “The Closer”. It’s in its last season, and it follows the adventures of Brenda Leigh Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick), a former  Atlanta detective who is now the head of the Los Angeles Police Department’s Major Crimes Squad.  Brenda can be exasperating, and can use people to her advantage, but it’s usually all in the name of justice.  Brenda is the show’s star, but I think that the show’s MVP character is FBI Agent Fritz Howard, Brenda’s husband (Jon Tenney), a recovering alcoholic who often argues with Brenda over her tactics. They often wrangle about whether or not cases belong to the LAPD or the FBI.  But through all of it, there is a mutual love and respect shared by these two characters that is heartening for us over-35 folk.  These are characters who have gone through a lot, both personally and professionally (loss, dangerous jobs, scandals, substance abuse, family illness), but you believe that they would be attracted to each other, love each other, and stick by each other.  This past season, Brenda was sued for her actions in a case, and there seems to be someone in her division leaking info to the other side’s lawyers.  In Monday’s episode (the last one for the winter; new episodes come back next summer to end out the series), she thanks Fritz for sticking by her, since she doesn’t have another person she can truly trust, and he says, “I’m glad I finally became the kind of person that people can count on.”  It was a short moment, but a beautiful one.   Their relationship has had ups and downs through the years, as all relationships do, but how wonderful that through all of it, even when you haven’t always liked each other, you have a growing trust.  Wow. Thank you, Fritz, for showing that it doesn’t matter how you start, but where you finish, and I want my husband to be able to say that he can count on me, and vice-versa.  See, you can get inspiration from the TV!


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