with Lynne and Leslie
Category Archives: Over-35 Bride of the Day

Yes, I was an old bride! And thanks for the ice cream!

by SweetMidlife

Taken three years ago. And no, this is not from a Lifetime movie.

The hubby and I just got back from a quick but satisfying third anniversary getaway in Vero Beach, Florida, less than two hours away from home but a whole world removed from the “Lookit my money” feel of Palm Beach or the “Lookit my boobs” feel of Miami. The evening was notable in many ways, and not just how the very nice people at the resort, from the staff to the other guests, tried to not looked shocked when two middle-aged people explained they were celebrating their third, not 20th, anniversary. It was kinda sweet, but we get it. We’re old. We’re fine with it. Thanks for the complimentary anniversary spiked ice cream sandwich and cocktails anyway!

Honestly, everyone was incredibly sweet and seemed happy for us, even though they didn’t know us. The cool thing about where we are in society is that there is less of a stigma to being married later in life – especially first marriages – and you know both of the writers of this here blog wed at 38, nearly 39, for the first time. So it’s surprising to me when people are obviously shocked when they see us, quickly surmise the 4- in our ages, and then do the math in their heads when we reveal that we’re newlyweds.

“First wedding?” many people say, as if being second-timers has to explain it.

Umm, no. I was Spinsterella till I met this here bald man, who was also a bachelor before me. I didn’t just escape a convent, he hadn’t taken a vow of celibacy and neither of us were horribly damaged socially awkward misfits who’d never been kissed. It just hadn’t happened. And then it did. And we were happy. And although neither of us were as young, thin and fresh as we may have imagined being on our jaunt down the aisle, we wouldn’t have changed the way things turned out for anything in the world, except that meeting earlier would have given us more time together.

In short, we’re not young. But our love is. It’s a lumpy, bald love, but the kind that giggles easily, that doesn’t get freaked out when someone farts in bed, that shrugs off the small stuff and says “It took my whole life to find you. You’re never getting rid of me. Let me lick my finger to wipe that ketchup off your face and then let’s enjoy this free anniversary dessert. We’ve earned it.”


Old weird love: Celebrating the romance of aches and pains

by SweetMidlife

Grown and sexy. With Spanx!

Leslie here! One of my favorite things about “30 Rock” is Tina Fey’s ability to sneak a surprisingly poignant moment into the most goofily surreal scene. There’s an episode where nutty egomaniac TV star Tracy Jordan has supposedly taken off to Africa (we find out later he’s hiding out in New York), propelling his wife Angie to seize the spotlight with her wacko Bravo reality show “Queen of Jordan” (“HAAAM!)

Angie protests that Tracy’s absence is a good thing because it allows her to come out of his shadow. But in the middle of the wackiness, she admits something to de facto confidante/boss/bewildered observer Liz Lemon – the things about Tracy that drive her insane, like him showing up drunk at their wedding or basically being a crazy person are the same things that draws her to him.

“I miss my weird love,” she wails, and I remember clapping in recognition at that line, because I, too have a weird love. And an old love, relatively speaking – not older than me, because we’re both old. A love that I found at the relatively advanced age of 38, past the age where I was my youngest or cutest or skinniest, at the age where 10 p.m. is the time we’re coming home exhausted rather than headed out. Sometimes, he’ll lovingly point out when I have an old-lady whisker (Don’t worry, 20-somethings. It’s coming for you one day) and I’ll kiss him on his bald head.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have the luxury of knowing what my husband looked like at 15, when he was all dark hair and swagger and high school hallway card games in his Camaro. And he sure was cute. But he was just some guy in my class. He wasn’t mine. What he looked like from 23-37 I know from photos, and he was cute, but he wasn’t mine. The 41-year-old with the bald head who falls asleep early and is a proud baseball and wrestling uncle to his nephew, who’s as confident in the Spongebob aisle at Toys-R-Us as he is in a silk shirt at a casino? He’s mine. I would cut a skank over him. And I am madly, passionately, girlfriendly in love with him. I sometimes wish we’d gotten together sooner, but only because that would have given us even more time together.

The woman that he fell in love with was 20 pounds past her marathon weight, not as fly as she used to be and given to crankiness, as well as to karaoke binges, true crime shows and stuff about wedding dresses. And he fell in love with her anyway. I’ll look wistfully at my skinny photos and say “Don’t you wish you’d met her?” And he’ll look at me and say “Why? I love you!” And then Billy Joel comes into my head and we love each other just the way we are, crankiness and cellulite and baldness and weird whiskers. And then someone falls asleep on the couch.

I don’t love him in spite of that stuff, or vice versa. We fell in love with the old, weird versions of each other. And that makes me smile. And then wanna take a nap, because I’m old.


Bride at 35 TV Couple of the Day

by SweetMidlife

It’s Lynne!!

So, we watch a lot of TV around these parts, and one of our (me and Leslie) favorite shows is TNT’s “The Closer”. It’s in its last season, and it follows the adventures of Brenda Leigh Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick), a former  Atlanta detective who is now the head of the Los Angeles Police Department’s Major Crimes Squad.  Brenda can be exasperating, and can use people to her advantage, but it’s usually all in the name of justice.  Brenda is the show’s star, but I think that the show’s MVP character is FBI Agent Fritz Howard, Brenda’s husband (Jon Tenney), a recovering alcoholic who often argues with Brenda over her tactics. They often wrangle about whether or not cases belong to the LAPD or the FBI.  But through all of it, there is a mutual love and respect shared by these two characters that is heartening for us over-35 folk.  These are characters who have gone through a lot, both personally and professionally (loss, dangerous jobs, scandals, substance abuse, family illness), but you believe that they would be attracted to each other, love each other, and stick by each other.  This past season, Brenda was sued for her actions in a case, and there seems to be someone in her division leaking info to the other side’s lawyers.  In Monday’s episode (the last one for the winter; new episodes come back next summer to end out the series), she thanks Fritz for sticking by her, since she doesn’t have another person she can truly trust, and he says, “I’m glad I finally became the kind of person that people can count on.”  It was a short moment, but a beautiful one.   Their relationship has had ups and downs through the years, as all relationships do, but how wonderful that through all of it, even when you haven’t always liked each other, you have a growing trust.  Wow. Thank you, Fritz, for showing that it doesn’t matter how you start, but where you finish, and I want my husband to be able to say that he can count on me, and vice-versa.  See, you can get inspiration from the TV!


Bride at 35 Brides of the Week!!

by SweetMidlife

This weekend was a big one for celebrity weddings and for celebrity brides over 35!!

Here they are!

Brooke Burke, 39, is the former champ and current co-host (Long live Tom Bergeron!!) of one of our favorite shows, ‘Dancing With the Stars”. She married her longtime boyfriend, former Baywatch dude David Charvet.  They are both really pretty (who also have really pretty babies). And we wish them well.

Joy Behar, 68, “The View” co-host, married Steve Janowitz, her boyfriend of 29 years. I guess they have the commitment part together. Congrats, kids!  And it was a very busy weekend for Joy’s co-workers because…..

Sherri Shepherd, 44, also of “The View” (and also a really funny lady who was our favorite part of the show “Less Than Perfect” from a few years back. Are we the only ones who watched that?), married her boyfriend, wrtier Lamar Salley, in a much-awaited ceremony over the weekend as well.  Elizabeth Hasselbeck, ALSO of “The View”, was a bridesmaid.  I keep wanting to say, “Our friend Sherri Shepherd”, because she always seems so approachable and she also talks a lot about her ups and downs and life and stuff. Like this wedding, which we blogged about here a few months back.

We wish happiness and years of good stuff to all three couples, and thanks for being examples of the simple fact that love and commitment know no age.


Bride at 35 Fashion: Beautiful Bridesmaids Dresses, Happy Everybody

by SweetMidlife

 

 

We know that our blog is read by people on all ranges of the wedding spectrum, but one thing that many of us have in common is that we’ve been IN a wedding at some time in our lives.  And no term sets fear into the hearts of a bride’s close friends like “bridesmaids dress”.  The bride has a vision, but you don’t know if you want to be a part of it if that includes a strapless full-length peach taffeta dress designed for a 100-lb 18 year-old (if that’s not who you are) .  And who wants to spend $250 on something that you and she BOTH know you will never wear again because looking like an overgrown clown on a Snickers bender does not fit into your everyday life?

Our expert today could be the answer to your problems, Dear Over-35 bride or bridesmaid.  Athelia Wooley is the designer and co-owner (along with her business partner Emily McCormick) of Shabby Apple, a wonderful company that designs beautiful, classic, affordable dresses for work and other occassions that flatter different ages and body types. And while “flatter” often means “doesn’t make you look awful”, in Shabby Apple’s case it means “makes you look awesome”.  Their main audience is women in their mid-20’s through their early 40’s; these are women who are past college-age, but still want to be pretty and trendy. “”They don’t want to look too young, but they aren’t  ready for Talbots yet”, says Athelia.

As Athelia was planning her own wedding, she looked around for dresses for her attendants but she mostly found short strapless ones that her friends were not going to feel comfortable in.  This inspired her to design a wedding line, so a year ago, Shabby Apple introduced The Bridesmaids Collection.  Enjoy the following pictures, along with Athelia’s thoughts on pretty, affordable, respectable dresses that your bridesmaids WILL want to wear again. We would.

Picking bridesmaids dresses that both you and your friends like can be tough, and Athelia says that a good place to start is with materials. The thicker the material, the more stretch it has; the more stretch, the more flattering.  This means a dress  “that looks good on everybody”. 

As for bridesmaids who get to pick their own dresses, Athelia thinks that you should wear something that you like but that doesn’t distract from who you are. “Pick something that you are going to wear”, she says,” and not that is going to wear you.” But before you get TOO cute, Athelia says that you should remember whose day this is. “The bride is the center of attention; look good, but don’t try to outshine her.”

Like you and your bridesmaids, Athelia kept budget in mind and was “super price-conscious” as she designed the line; all of the dresses in the line are $130, and are made of the best fabrics possible. This is good for your wedding, and good for business. “If the customer has a good experience and doesn’t have to spend a lot of money, they will come back and tell their friends.”

Ultimately, beauty is a state of mind, according to Athelia, and this is especially true of women in their 30’s and above. “You have to believe (in your own beauty) ; if you believe it yourself, you will portray it.  If your age makes you insecure it makes you unattractive.”  And you can find that beauty while still maintaining your dignity.  “If you are classy you will look beautiful. The biggest mistake is that we try to be vampy, but it looks silly, and it doesn’t respect you”. 

Shabby Apple’s designs are perfect for the Bride at 35, and we hope you check them out.  And since Athelia was 31 when she got married, she is today’s Real Life Bride at (almost) 35.  Here are some pictures of her wedding, which she calls “a wonderful celebration with people who I love”.  Enjoy.


Today’s Bride (over) 35 of the Day: Leslie Streeter Zervitz!

by SweetMidlife

Part of what we want to do here at Bride At 35 is to show, in words and in pretty pretty pictures, what being an older bride can look like. And for Leslie, who got married February 28, two months shy of of her 39th birthday, that looked like a pretty day in Palm Beach, Florida, where she was 20 pounds heavier than she wanted to be and, in some pictures, wearing Ugly Cry Face.

However, she married the man of her dreams, Scott Zervitz, who she met in high school and found again on Facebook, in front of a collection of friends and family of every type (black, white, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, agnostic,atheist, young, old, medium-old, well-moisturized and ashy.)

And it’s still her favorite day. Here is what it looked like, in photos by Nathaniel Corn and Nerissa Miller, our official photographers, and other friends and family. Enjoy and see the possibilities!


Over-35 Bride of the Day

by SweetMidlife

The only part of this that isn’t just crazypants is how awesome Liza looks. At least she still has that. When that-era Michael Jackson is one of the most normal-looking people in your wedding party, well, that must have been a party.


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