with Lynne and Leslie

A Thing To Stop Saying To People

by SweetMidlife

Hi! It’s Lynne!

So, maybe you have a friend who comes up to you and tells you about something wonderful that is happening in their life. Let’s say that they just got a new job, and they are so excited about what this is going to do in their life, because it’s more money, and it is actually the job they have always wanted to have. Their dream.

And maybe you, at that moment, have also been looking for a new job, because maybe you don’t have one at all, or maybe the job that you have is killing your spirit, and you know exactly where you want to be, and where you are ain’t it. Maybe your friend with the new job knows that you are looking for a job too, or maybe they don’t, and maybe they work in a different field than you, but let’s say that they have the very kind of job that you want. And that is really annoying you. Because you want a fantastic too.  Maybe you wanted THAT job. All you know is that they are somewhere you want to be. So you say:

“Must be nice.”

Which sometimes means, “Must be great to get everything you want. Must be great to not have to work as hard as I did. Must be nice to have good stuff.”

“Because I don’t.”

Because you have made someone else’s successes about YOU.

And unless that person took the job that you were about to get buy lying to the hiring people about you by saying that all you do all day at work is play on Facebook and eat Pop-Tarts, or that your friend getting married instead of you tripped you as you were walking down the aisle in your white dress and grabbed your bouquet and said “I Do” to your love, or stole your boarding pass and ID at the airport and got on the plane to Jamaica and took the vacation that you paid for, they didn’t take anything from you. They worked what they had, and it paid off for them. Because other people get to be happy even when you aren’t. Even if it is something that your soul really needs. Would you want to announce your engagement then have other people burst into tears and run away because they got engaged before you? No, you wouldn’t. I know something of this, and I will admit this to you.

When Beautiful Twin Leslie got engaged to her dear beautiful late husband, she and Scott had only been officially dating for 6 months, although they had known each other for years. And they were breathtakingly in love. My now-husband and I had been dating at that point for a year and a half, and I wanted to be married BADLY. And the person with whom I share identical DNA with got engaged and married before I did. And as deliriously happy as I was for her, I have to admit that when she called me to tell me that she was getting married and described her ring, I looked down at my empty left ring finger and thought, “But I was supposed to get married first.” And I hate that I thought that. Because her love story had nothing to do with mine. But we are selfish creatures, and of course we think about what is affecting us. But that doesn’t have to come out of your mouth after you take a minute to process it. Or continue in your spirit, even unsaid. Because that will make you bitter. Don’t be bitter, sweet friends!

Because other people get to be happy. And so do you!!! I hope that your happiness is coming. Keep working for it, or praying for it. But happy shouldn’t be a competition. There is enough to go around. Really. I am not lying to you.

So, the next time someone tells you about the wonderful thing that is happening in their life, even if it’s a thing that is kind of or maybe exactly about the thing that you want, say this:

“Wow. That IS nice.”

Because it is. And when you get your thing, hopefully they will say the same thing to you. Because you are both cool like that.

You go with your bad self, doing the thing. Good on you.

You go with your bad self, doing the thing. Good on you.


5 Responses to “A Thing To Stop Saying To People”

  1. You are so right Lynne! I have felt those moments too my friend, but if we feel an honest feeling of happiness for others it will come back to us…just like the opposite.
    Great post!
    Renee Stambaugh recently posted…Top Ten Things I Learned From MomMy Profile

  2. mrs.aok05@gmail.com' Mrs. AOK says:

    YES!! Yes to everything you wrote!! “Must be nice,” gets all the side eye from me. “Must be nice” means you just made me reconsider sharing my joy with you. It’s easy to be bitter, envious, and mad because things are working for others why you’re steadily hustling and NADA, but it’s better for your soul NOT to go that route. I rather go the route of cheering and keeping on my hustle. 🙂
    Great post, Lynne! Thanks for sharing at #MMBH!
    xoxo
    Mrs. AOK recently posted…The Case of Loving a Creative + GiveawayMy Profile

  3. I love this. Saying, “must be nice” is a great way to rain on somebody’s parade. People get different things at different times, sometimes because they’ve worked harder but other times because that’s what they need right now. It’s almost for sure that there are other things we need right now that God is blessing us with and we are ignoring as we speak!
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…7 Quick Takes about Nutritious Cleaning Supplies, Taxpayer-Supported Zumba, and an Open Letter of Apology to El NiñoMy Profile

  4. Lisa@squishablebaby.com' Lisa nelson says:

    You gotta step back and see the bigger picture I think. I hesitate to say that everything happens for a reason – because I feel that saying is more of excuse for giving up.

    We don’t know why things happen – they just do. If you are doing your part, then that’s all you can do.

    Thanks for this great post!
    Lisa nelson recently posted…Homeschool Moms: Health and Fitness – Home is where the Results areMy Profile

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