with Lynne and Leslie

I Will Be Nice To Me, I Will Be Nice To Me, I Will Be Nice To Me…….

by SweetMidlife

Lynne here!

So last year, I wrote about how for lent my church congregation was asked to give up negative talk about people or circumstances, and to build each other up. It was quite a challenge because complaints come to the brain and roll off the tongue EASILY. It was amazing how often something snarky came to mind, and even if it wasn’t snark, but something actually truthful, I found myself asking me of what I said would truly help the situation, or if it would just add to an overall sense of yuck. I was more diligent towards the beginning, but towards the end, it became a lot more challenging.  It was a great thing to aspire to, but harder to complete. Well, this year, our Pastor has challenged us to do it again, and I am really committing to it. Will negative thoughts come to my head. Ah, yes. Do I have to entertain them, and then let them pass out of my lips. No. Have I had some slip-ups in the past few days? Si. But I think with this challenge, the goal is getting better as the time progresses. You have to have somewhere to get better from , right?

Well, the day that Lent started, I was doing this at-home workout video that’s 33 minutes of strength and cardio together, and it is HARD.  This day, I was having a particularly hard time with it, but got through it, and at the end, the leader trainer guy says “Good job, people at home”, to which I said, “You don’t know that.” I almost harrumphed. As soon as that thought left my head, though, the thought after it was “Why are you being so mean to yourself?”  As snarky and unforgiving as we can be and are to other folks, we can be equally so to ourselves.  One of the reasons that we don’t do any better than we do is that we talk ourselves out of it, and stay in whatever limbo-y/stinky place that we are in.

All of this to say, as I go through this season of Lent, I am adding ME to the list of things that I can’t be negative about. And I am not saying that I can’t be real with myself about things. For example, it is good to say to myself, “Lynne, you need to stay within your Weight Watchers points if you are going to lose weight, so maybe having that large plate of fried deliciousness is something you should think about. You want to do better than gaining and losing the same 3 pounds? Think about it.”  It is NOT good to say, “Lynne, you are never going to lose this weight and fried deliciousness is what you have going for you now and you keep losing the same few pounds because you are obviously a loser, but not in losing weight, because that ain’t happening. So heat up the Fry Daddy.”  Yep. Give yourself a break. Move forward without having to crawl through the junk you just dumped on yourself.  You CAN do whatever you have set in front of you. You can. Start by telling yourself that first.


28 Responses to “I Will Be Nice To Me, I Will Be Nice To Me, I Will Be Nice To Me…….”

  1. tate_franz@comcast.net' Thaeda says:

    A timely and well written post. I was just saying to hubby last night that I am tired of living scared. I am afraid I will be fat forver, and afraid to be thin because I might feel exposed. I am afraid to exercise because of all the negative self talk I engage in when I do it, afraid at work because I might not meet deadlines or other people’s expectations, afraid for my children when they do not earn the best grades (they might be failures in LIFE screams the nervous Nellie in my brain), afraid…afraid…afraid. Last night I said “That is ENOUGH!”– I am tired of being afraid—and praying God will show me how to live fearlessly.

    I do not know about you, but my judgments of self and others come from a placce of fear. I am hopeful as I learn to live fearlessly, it will result in me being more loving towards others and especially towards myself.

    Kudos to you for embarking on this journey!

    • bride35 says:

      Amen. Amen. Amen. Do it, Thaeda. And yes, I am often motivated by fear to judge, overact, or do nothing. It’s all destructive. We can do this.

      • tate_franz@comcast.net' Thaeda says:

        Yes— and the first day I choose to be fearless…the HMO governing my son’s care thinks its time to discharge him……wow, REALLY? My FIRST day on this and I get hit with THAT? Couldn’t pick something a little easier? ACKKKK!

  2. livenestlove@gmail.com' Dee says:

    Loved your post! That is all so true…not sure why we think it’s ok to be so negative about ourselves, when all it does is bring us down more. On top of that, we would (hopefully!) never treat someone else that way or hold them to such perfect standards, so why do that to ourselves? Perfection isn’t possible, and fortunately it’s not required:) And if God doesn’t require it, why in the world would I try to? Thanks for the reminder. (found you on SITS!)

    • bride35 says:

      Thanks for the SITS shout-out!!! Going over to read your latest post!! And you are so right. The idea that God loves us, warts and all, even though he says it over and over, is so hard to get. I’mma keep trying to get that, though.

  3. suzannemclean@hotmail.ca' Suzanne says:

    This is great. Lent should be about being kind to yourself and others. Well done.

  4. brittonboyles@hotmail.com' Britton says:

    Wonderful, wonderful post. What you said is very true, we always get caught up in trying to be nice to others, when we neglect being nice to ourselves. This is definitely something I need to work on as well. Stopping in from SITS.

  5. I think this is such a great challenge your church has done, and even better that you’ve taken it to the next level with yourself. I struggle with both aspects. As much as I want to be a positive person and think and say nice things, I seem to say a lot of negative crap. And I am a downer on myself as well. I am going to take this little challenge myself and see where it gets me! Thank yoU!

    • bride35 says:

      It is so hard, isn’t it! Hope it went well for you. It is SOOOO hard. But positivity makes everyone feel better.

  6. ajoijonespharmd@gmail.com' Joi says:

    I like your Pastor’s choice. That is difficult to do because people are very hard on others and usually much harder on themselves. I know I set super standards for myself. Thanks for the insight SITStahs!

  7. misssrobin@yahoo.com' misssrobin says:

    A beautiful realization that all of us women need to be reminded of sometimes. Thanks for the reminder.

  8. linkouture@gmail.com' Bev says:

    Oh, I’m definitely my own worst critic. There are definitely times I need to work on being a better cheerleader to myself. Happy SITS day!

  9. Visiting from SITS, like this post. I have been trying to do this this year as well, I do try to find the good in people then pick apart myself, so now I am finding the good in me and focusing on that.

  10. Such a great reminder. We are often hardest on ourselves, aren`t we? Very inspiring post!

  11. I love your post. I call it the I’m not worthy problem. Self talk is so necessary for most people. Thanks for the post. Enjoy your SITS Day.

  12. moneyplanninggal@gmail.com' Melissa says:

    Thanks for the reminder to be kind to one’s self. It’s a struggle for most women I suspect. The inner monologue can be quite mean at times.

    Happy SITS Day!

  13. {Melinda} I’ve really been struggling with this over the last couple of weeks. It really does become self-fulfilling prophecy and is a real mood killer. I am definitely MUCH harder on myself than I am on other people. Thanks for the encouraging word today!

    Happy SITS Day!

  14. agapevirtualenterprises@gmail.com' Whitney says:

    How true that we need to be nice to ourselves, remind ourselves how phenomenal we are and love ourself! Great post, glad I found you guys. Enjoy your SITS Day.

  15. bequotedbyasm@gmail.com' Andrea says:

    “No negative talk” was also one of the things I was to abstain from. I had NEVER considered applying that rule to myself. Smart of you to add that! Enjoy your SITS Day. Andrea @ be-quoted.com.

  16. So great!!! Happy SITS day and thank you for the great reminder to be nice to ourselves! 🙂

  17. poppyvelosa@hotmail.co.uk' Poppy says:

    What a great lesson and reminder for all of us.

  18. It is so easy to be hard on ourselves and make negative comments about others. But this is a great lesson to learn, 🙂 thanks!

  19. It’s alot easier for me to be nice to other people than it is myself. i am very negative about myself. I need to stop that

  20. So true!! I think we all need to be reminded of this. And it’s a great idea for Lent (not that you should wait a whole year to try it out, though!!)

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