Hi! Lynne here!
Anything is a good excuse to quote The Spice Girls, but it’s actually relevant to what I’m writing about, which makes it much better. Or something. And it’s even more relevant because this whole post is inspired by a quote by Madonna, the pop Goddess of all pop Goddesses, who the Spice Girls probably emulate. Because they are my age, and I think most of us this age wanted to be Madonna at one point in our lives. OOH, that’s a great topic for a blog: Which Madonna did you want to be? For me it’s her in the “Borderline” video, because she was sexy and had a good-looking boyfriend in it, and was stating her case that she she wanted him to try to understand that she had given all she could, because he had the best of her! And she walked on roofs, which seemed dangerous. But that’s not my main point for this post (which is a part of “That’s What She Said“, a weekly blogging thingy where you write based on a fantastic quote by a woman).
And to that I say: YES, GIRL.
I have spent a lot of my life afraid. Yes, I have stepped out and done things that gave me pause at first, like travelling around the country in a van (TWICE) as part of a children’s theater tour, and running a couple of marathons, and having a baby in my 40’s. And the fear went out of it when I just decided that I was going to go for it and admitted that it was okay to want those things. I don’t know where I stumbled onto the idea that it was admirable to suffer and not have hopes and dreams, and I haven’t always operated out of that (see above) but I have talked myself out of some things that have been crystal clear to my heart and my soul because I thought I didn’t deserve to get them. Because I didn’t know as much as other people. Or I didn’t train like other people did. Or that the world didn’t need what I had to offer. Or it was too late, and I was doomed to fail and I should go eat another jar of Nutella. Or that because I HAVE done some cool things in my life, I wasn’t allowed to try for anymore, and I should just settle for ordinary. Who told me that? I don’t know. I would love to blame other people. But in the end, if I buy that crap, knowing everything that I know, then the blame is on me.
And that leads me to voicing out loud this thing that is my current want, and that is this: I want to get some plays that I have written produced, and I want to eventually start my own theater company that produces positive theater for kids (with adult actors).
Yep, I said it. Feels good.
And it’s true that I can talk myself out of this like I have other things, and that I could research so much that I feel satisfied with the knowledge I have gained without actually DOING the darned thing. Not this time. I can do this. I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but it’s what I want, and I am going to try, and if it fails, then I will write a play about THAT and perform it right there and then.
So, what do YOU really want? Tell me below! And enjoy the musical inspiration.